The Biker Wave

It was a simple gesture, really. The motorcycle rider, driving toward my minivan on a two-lane road, flicked his right wrist casually out to the side, his fingers pointing toward the pavement. I watched for him to turn, thinking he was making a turn signal… but then he kept going past me, disappearing in my rearview mirror. It took me a minute before I realized what he was doing: he was waving to the motorcycle rider in front of me.

And then I remembered my dad—the Harley-riding preacher—once telling me about biker etiquette. You always give other bikers the little “Hey fellow cool biker dude, what’s up” wave. Always. And they give it to you. Once you have a motorcycle, you’re in the club, you get the wave. Everywhere you go, from every biker you pass.

I already have a natural fondness for bikers, because of my dad and Rage Waters (Crystal’s Harley-riding-rock-star dad in The Thirteenth Summer), but now I have yet another reason to love all the hairy, tattooed, bike-riding rebels of the world. I find their culture of waving both fascinating and endearing. Let’s be honest: Bikers—particularly Harley-riding ones, with their head-to-toe black leather and their ZZ Top beards—seem like the least likely segment of the population to engage in friendly, borderline cheesy behaviors like waving. Spitting, maybe; rude gestures with their middle fingers, probably—but waving, not so much. And so, bizarre as it may sound, this whole waving-bikers concept warms my heart and—dare I indulge in a bit of hyper-sentimentality?—gives me hope for mankind.

We all want to feel connected, to belong… and bike riders have found a small but meaningful way to find brotherhood with their fellow dudes—a method that has eluded the rest of us lame-os who do not risk our lives every day on two-wheeled death traps. For me, just knowing that bikers tool around our nation’s curvy back roads, waving at people they have never met—that they find camaraderie, even in this simple way, as a community of sorts… a leather-wearing, thrill-seeking community, but a true fellowship nonetheless!—well, this knowledge gives me hope for the rest of us.

And maybe we’re catching on, just a tiny bit. In my neighborhood, we always wave at each other as we drive past. I don’t know all my neighbors’ names, but I figure the waving is a start. I confess, when I drive through my friends’ neighborhoods, I like to wave at their neighbors, too—pretending I live there, pretending we have a reason to go out of our way to be kind to each other (as if our shared humanity were not reason enough!). And sometimes, when I pull out of my neighborhood onto the roads that take me out to the wider world, I still find myself waving at the other drivers I pass, out of habit—and I bet they think I’m crazy: “Who’s the weird lady in the minivan who keeps grinning and waving at me—holy cow, are those monkeys jumping around that van?” That would be me, your eccentric local writer (and my crazy part-simian children). Blame it on my sensitive, creative nature, if you want. And maybe on my upbringing, me with my Harley-waving-preacher father, and my delightfully idealistic mother.

My mom told me her own waving story so many times in my adolescence that I now have it memorized: When she was 15, she went through a period of insecurity and loneliness, feeling like she didn’t have friends in her high school. Her solution? She decided to march through the hallways, smiling and waving and saying “hi” to everyone she saw. Within days, Mom wasn’t lonely anymore… her confidence and friendliness had won her many new acquaintances. (And okay, let’s be honest, Mom, you were drop-dead gorgeous, that didn’t hurt your cause, either!)

All this has made me wonder… what would the world be like if we all waved at everyone we met—if we made eye contact and acknowledged, even in a small way, every person’s presence and innate worth? If we focused on making basic face-to-face connections, instead of digital ones? Would this world, jammed with all its 7 billion inhabitants, be a kinder, more intimate place to live? I like to think so.

So if you catch me, in or out of my minivan, waving at random people, grinning like an idiot—well, blame it a little on my parents and a lot on the bikers. We’re making the world a better place, one wave at a time.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504053274 Steven Leslie Johnson

    Always knew you were wonderful, and I certainly love your take on this.
    I didn’t wave one day.
    I was on the other side of a divided highway in Montana somewhere between Hardin and Sheridan, Wyoming and, well, I just got lazy. Bikers were everywhere that day and you’re arm can get real tired and eventually psychology can get the best of a lone rider out in the wilderness. I started thinking about how I was never going to see that guy again. And that my wave didn’t matter. He was probably insincere with his wave anyways and I could just imagine the sarcasm of the guy on the chopped pan head not really respecting my evo powered ’95 flstn nostalgia; after all, I was on a “soft” tail and he was on a “hard” one.
    I stopped waving and didn’t wave for at least 100 miles. From the other side of I-90, going well over 100 miles an hour, tattooed arms and leathered palms continued to reach out to me, some frantically, but I defiantly ignored them. I ignored them all.
    I eventually stopped for gas and my own need for relief and while in the men’s room I began to think: what if one of those guys turned around and followed me here? What would they say? What could they say? What could they do?
    I began to imagine a kafkaesque biker world where if you didn’t wave there were physical and emotional repercussions. You’d begin to morph into every bug splattered on your windshield (oh, another reason to imagine distain from smart-alec wavers who consider windshields wimpy and helmets wimpier) and your motorcycle grows lips out of it’s handlebars and begins talking to you: “gonna ignore this guy? he’s on his way to a funeral. how about this one? he’s packing a .44, you know?”
    I took a long look in the mirror before I went back out there and waved like I never waved before.
    But the closer I got to Sturgis, where thousands of these guys were coming from and more of us heading towards, no one waved back. At first I thought they knew what I’d done. The message had gone out and I was black listed. Eventually I realized the truth; the nearer the black hills you get in July, and the more abundant the bikes there’s a tipping point and it’s just not cool to wave anymore. Not even give a little lift of the chin head nod. Once the bikes out number the cars…stop waving or you look desperate and nerdish and obviously don’t really belong in the world of real bikers. Then something magic really happened and I began to tap into the telepathic communication that the truest of us war warriors enjoy and I heard from each passing gnarly man the words I always long to hear. They were saying to me over and over the same thing I’m thinking about you right now… “you’re so cool. you’re so cool…”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504053274 Steven Leslie Johnson

    Always knew you were wonderful, and I certainly love your take on this.
    I didn’t wave one day.
    I was on the other side of a divided highway in Montana somewhere between Hardin and Sheridan, Wyoming and, well, I just got lazy. Bikers were everywhere that day and you’re arm can get real tired and eventually psychology can get the best of a lone rider out in the wilderness. I started thinking about how I was never going to see that guy again. And that my wave didn’t matter. He was probably insincere with his wave anyways and I could just imagine the sarcasm of the guy on the chopped pan head not really respecting my evo powered ’95 flstn nostalgia; after all, I was on a “soft” tail and he was on a “hard” one.
    I stopped waving and didn’t wave for at least 100 miles. From the other side of I-90, going well over 100 miles an hour, tattooed arms and leathered palms continued to reach out to me, some frantically, but I defiantly ignored them. I ignored them all.
    I eventually stopped for gas and my own need for relief and while in the men’s room I began to think: what if one of those guys turned around and followed me here? What would they say? What could they say? What could they do?
    I began to imagine a kafkaesque biker world where if you didn’t wave there were physical and emotional repercussions. You’d begin to morph into every bug splattered on your windshield (oh, another reason to imagine distain from smart-alec wavers who consider windshields wimpy and helmets wimpier) and your motorcycle grows lips out of it’s handlebars and begins talking to you: “gonna ignore this guy? he’s on his way to a funeral. how about this one? he’s packing a .44, you know?”
    I took a long look in the mirror before I went back out there and waved like I never waved before.
    But the closer I got to Sturgis, where thousands of these guys were coming from and more of us heading towards, no one waved back. At first I thought they knew what I’d done. The message had gone out and I was black listed. Eventually I realized the truth; the nearer the black hills you get in July, and the more abundant the bikes there’s a tipping point and it’s just not cool to wave anymore. Not even give a little lift of the chin head nod. Once the bikes out number the cars…stop waving or you look desperate and nerdish and obviously don’t really belong in the world of real bikers. Then something magic really happened and I began to tap into the telepathic communication that the truest of us war warriors enjoy and I heard from each passing gnarly man the words I always long to hear. They were saying to me over and over the same thing I’m thinking about you right now… “you’re so cool. you’re so cool…”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504053274 Steven Leslie Johnson

    and oh yeah, btw…
    you look just like your mother.

  • Elizabeth

    Steve! This is such a fantastic story… All your inner dialogue kills me! (And after you’ve convinced everyone you’re such a laid-back guy all these years…) As for the post-restroom hallucinations… that is so how my brain works. One minute, I’m worrying about some stupid little thing, the next I’ve written a whole movie scene in which I die a horrific death. I guess the bright side of an overactive imagination is that it makes life so much more interesting (not to mention terrifying). And yes, the bikers are right, you are so cool… Thanks for the story! Love it! Keep up the waving…

  • Elizabeth

    Awww :-)

  • http://profiles.google.com/mayogator Robin Mayo

    this made me laugh and it’s so true…i love the ramblings inside your head. makes me feel normal that i too can run with such a simple thing and turn it into something much bigger. love you, friend.

  • Linda

    I love your writings! I am your Mom’s biggest fan and am so glad to see her spirit (and heart) in you – I guess her stories were not told in vain! Seriously, your talent amazes me – how you take a simple story and make it a life lesson. Keep up the writing – you are touching us all!

  • carole

    we should always wave!! why not??? we are all connected aren’t we?

  • Geri Laing

    You are so right about this! I still remember riding in my Dad’s boat in South Florida – we all waved at each other! People we had never seen before and probably would never see again, but we were fellow boat owners. And, what an equalizer it was – didn’t matter if you were on a 50 foot yacht or a 16 foot outboard or a very old little cabin cruiser as ours was – we ALL shared a love of boats and the water. Hmm… Lots to think about here!
    And, Steve, you are hilarious!

  • Lisa Sawhill

    This is my first time exploring your site. What a fun read. Thanks for sharing.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks, Lisa, glad you enjoyed it!

  • Anonymous

    I love it, Mom–I like that you call it an “equalizer.” So true! We all own bikes, or boats, or Jeeps… and so we are friends, somehow we are connected.

  • Anonymous

    David, you’re still cool to me. It’s all in how you DRIVE the minivan.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks, Linda!

  • Anonymous

    Okay, I confess, yesterday as I was driving, I passed a biker (of course, I was rocking my minivan, as usual), and I didn’t even think about it–I just waved at him. I guess this post has wormed its way into my subconscious. I’m probably going to start freaking people out with all my waving. Oh, well.

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